She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
