Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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