this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
