I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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