True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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