We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
