i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
