I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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