omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
