somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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