Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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