Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
how does that bad decision feel?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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