What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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