I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
