Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
