I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't think brook has ever known best
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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