Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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