dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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