i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
