dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
