drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The best revenge is premature balding
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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