sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
