Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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