yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
