dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
