Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sext me about skeletons
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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