Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
