I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
