She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize