I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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