You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
