i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she told me i tasted like america
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
