are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
