White coat. Heels.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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