Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
