I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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