Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
