Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
