He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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