One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
