nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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