Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
