He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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