the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
