Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Terrible idea I love it
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
