i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
