i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
