Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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