walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
