you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
